I'm so done. I....AM........FRUSTRATED! My son has all the readiness signs. He knows how to do it. He flushes. He isn't scared. He can tell us when he is about to go number two. So the problem?????????
He doesn't tell us he has to go BEFORE he goes. If we put him on the potty, he goes. If we ask him to push one more time, he does. If he has to poopy, he tells us he has to go. But if we hear "I have to go to the potty", it means he has already gone, or he is currently going.
We have been at this a month. Well, longer than that actually. We did everything "by the book". He has been going potty on his little potty after his bath since his second birthday (over six months ago). He picked out his underwear, he feels like a big boy etc etc etc. This is our biggest issue. It hit its climax today when he sat next to me on the couch and just hugged me as he peed. ON MY COUCH!!!!!!!!!
Let me preface this by saying we never used pull-ups. I have only heard one good pull-up success story to a bazillion DON'T USE THEM stories. I can't do this anymore though. Yes, I KNOW that everyone gets it eventually. But I feel trapped. I don't go on longer playdates for fear he will go the bathroom. My mom just moved and I made him stay in the kitchen the whole time (thank goodness!) for fear confirmation he was going to go through his pants. I can't do my errands. I have him and a 10 month old. Taking the two of them on an errand trip that lasts longer than an hour is rough as it is without potty training. Holding him on the toilet while keeping her on my leg to avoid the yucky ground is miserable. I spent over $100 dollars to get my washer fixed quickly, otherwise I would be spending that much in underwear for him. Do you feel my pain yet? I KNEW this wouldn't be easy. But I am at wits end. HELP ME PLEASE!!! Oh, and to answer the expected question, he will be 3 in a few months. But he has all but one sign of readiness, and that is that he is wet in the morning.
He gets what he is supposed to do. He has no issues GOING. He knows how to push it all out. (we told him that only green pee means he is done. He will push forever waiting for green pee. Or he sees how many songs he can finish before he can't get any more out.) What did you do? Did you use pull-ups? Would you recommend it? Is it a huge no-no? Please help me. A month seems just too long. But he is obviously ready. And if I switch to pull-ups, what do I say to him why he isn't wearing his "big boy" underwear?
Advice?? Support?? Anything??
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I have no advice. I hear boys are harder to potty train than girls, and all I can say is that I'm pretty condifident that in time he'll figure it out. Just take him every hour until he starts telling you...he leaves you no other choice.
First off take a few deep breaths. My son sounds A LOT like yours. and like the old saying goes, this too shall pass. It is a very frustrating time, but somehow we do all survive.
I did use pull ups, but only for errand time and at night, you can only wash ALL the bedding so many times in a week without going crazy.
My oldest son was about 4 by the time we had it all figured out and he was finally dry in the mornings.
It sounds like you are doing everything right, but he just needs to realize what that feeling is right BEFORE he goes is. Once he connects that to actually going then everything will be great at your house.
Good Luck!!
Phew. That IS tough. I don't know that I could go that long without substituting in the pull ups for a break. Maybe for out of the house outings, or even for set times in the house. I know you want to be consistent with him, but you also need your sanity. My nerves would be shot at this point.
As for what to tell him... maybe try to explain that it's to prevent an accident so he knows in a gentle way that going in his pants isn't really acceptable. Although you understand if it happens. And that you guys are going to work together to get him to the bathroom BEFORE.
I asked mine every time they had an accident about how they felt BEFORE, and whether they'd know the feeling if it came again.
So they weren't to tell me when they wanted to go, they were to tell me when they had the feeling.
It worked for me, but I'm no expert. But maybe it's something you could try?
I haven't been there yet. I have heard that it's easier for girls than boys...but who knows? I can't imaging having a 3 year old and a 10month old at the same time. God Bless you, Vicki!
So you know I have no idea what I'm talking about, but...maybe give him a special gift or sticker if he tells you before he has to go and gets on the potty before he goes?
Good luck, I'll say a prayer for ya Mama!
I soooo wish I had answers for you! I am in the midst of potty training my twin girls, too and it is going that great. Well, Peanut is going potty on the big toilet, but has only gone #2 twice. Usually she waits until nap time when I put a pull up on her (we have tried it in just panties and she won't hold it). Jelly Bean wants nothing to do it at all! Yikes! My girls will be 3 in February, so I am sweating it.
Personally I think, if you have him in big boy pants, just stick to it so not to confuse him. It's going to be rough, but eventually he will figure it out. I think that the best advice I have received which is the hardest to take was "they will figure it out in their own time."
I think we just have to wait for them to recooperate. In the meantime, we will just have to have carpet cleaner & laundry detergent on hand. Ughh! :)
Check out the book "toilet training in less than a day". It was awesome! It sounds like he's ready but maybe there is just one thing your missing? The entire first 3/4 of the book is just "what not to do" and I found that so helpful. Wearing pullups was a no-no, so you're on to to something there.
It will be annoying but for 2-3 days, I would take him right to the potty every 15 minutes. If he goes, great. If he doesn't, fine. But he should hit more than he misses and eventually keep going there. *hopefully*
I can tell you my son was trained full day/night in 3 days at 21 months using this book. My daughter was fully trained in less than an hour at 26 months. We waited with her because we moved right as she was first showing interest. Best of luck. It's frustrating, but it will happen.
my potty training years are way behind me, and my sometimers has been kicking in a lot lately. the one thing i do remember with my son is that if i left him to run around without any pants on he would go to the toilet but the minute i put training pants on him he peed them. (there wasn't such a thing as pull ups back then) sorry i don't have any advice for you, just wanted to share my story with you. have a great day my friend...hugz!
believe it or not i never trained my son, well i tried and gave up, and my good friend said he'll do it when he's ready and low and behold 4 months later he woke up and said he was gonna pee on the potty and he did only had like 2 accidents ever. so don't stress. it's not like he'll be wearing diapers until he is 17
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Okay, Vicki...here's what I did with my little boobers once we got to that stage of the game...DUCT TAPE! Just kidding! Seriously...I went out to the 99-cent store as well as to Walmart and bought some cheap little toys and art stuff that I knew whichever kid it was at the time would love. I then went and found a cheap little chest that I could lock with a lock and key. Did not spend more than $20 altogether. I wrapped each little prize in wrapping paper and stuck them in the chest. My thought was to use this as a reward system. I showed the chest to my kids and let them look at all the wrapped prizes and showed them how the chest locked and how it opened with a special key. They were thrilled and just had to know what was under that wrapping paper! I started by telling them that if they could go an hour without having an accident in their pants and remember to use the potty, they could get the key to get a prize. They loved using the key to unlock the lock just as much as picking out a prize. I then extended it to two hours, then three hours, until eventually they were at going to entire morning and then again going the entire afternoon without an accident. You eventually get to the entire day, but by that time, they have learned to hold it better and it's not even something they have to think about very much anymore. Starting out with just an hour and then two hours is what helps them to learn to hold it better and to go to the bathroom. May not work for everyone, but for my little gremlins, it worked like a charm. They would still have an accident from time to time, especially when they would get busy playing and would rather pee themselves them stop what they were doing (I actually envied them at times and wished I could do that!) I'm happy to report that they are now 14 and 11 and both are using the pottie every time (now I just need to figure out how to get them to quit leaving the skid marks!).
oh man, woman. I have no advice it's been 8 yrs since I've had to potty train and I was lucky enough to have a kids who just did it. I don't remember it being a struggle at all so I can't relate.
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My son was almost 4 before we got him potty trained. One thing we found out was that he did not like going to potty in the bathroom. So as disgusting as it sounds, he placed his potty in his room where played. IT WORKED!
My other friends have used the Cheerio game with much success, every time he goes potty he gets to aim and shoot the Cheerios in the toilet.
I also suggest he go potty with daddy too. So he can see what the boys do in the bathroom.
Good Luck!
Boys are more difficult to train than girls for sure.
I think I gave up when it seemed like my son wasn't really ready. I waited a little while until he gave me more cues and then boom, it was done.
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Do you have him on a pee'ing pooping schedule? That worked for us. 15m after he'd eat/drink we'd potty.
Oh Vicki. I feel your pain. I have heard that boys are harder than girls. Chloi was stubborn as well. I did use pull ups but only for night time and errands. I made Chloi sit on the potty every half-an-hour. I know it sounds tedious but it worked. Let me know how it goes.
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Ah Potty training it's been a little while for me. My thoughts for you is to take a deep breath and a break from the training for a couple of weeks. Yes this is a pain but you both may need a break. If you do want to keep it up a reward system is great and of course the cheerios in the toilet for boys is something I hear they love. Oh and don't be afraid of those pull ups at night and when you go to the store. One more thing get a potty to leave in the car so you have one at all times. It can come in so handy. Good luck I he'll get it. It just takes a little time.
My first potty trained my quicker than my second. I also had more time to devote to my first when he was potty training. My second wasn't completely potty trained until he was about 3 1/2. I have been letting my third potty train himself, but if he gets to distracted, then he goes in his pull up...which I have nothing good or bad to say about that. We have used them for all three of them so far and they have saved us many times. There are days he goes all day long without an accident, even when we are out running around town, and then I think that he may be ready for underwear, but then the next day he doesn't remember. I try not to push them too hard, but it will get to the point where I just take the pull up away and pull out the Bissel Little Green Machine and do a whole lot of carpet shampooing, along with furniture, beds...you get the picture.
Since every child is different it is hard to be able to give too much advice. I guess I would say, just keep asking him every ten minutes or so if he has to go. Try to send him in alone and praise more than you ever though you would be praising a kid for using the toilet. Help him learn to pull his pants and underwear up by himself and he might gain more confidence. Just follow his lead, don't pressure him and let him feel like this is his choice. Bribes of treats always helped us too.
You've got my sympathy. I've been at it with my son (who turned 2 in July) for about six weeks. It sounds like he's about at the same point as your son. On the days when I'm really on top of things and take him in to the bathroom every hour or so, we have great days, but that means most of the effort is mine, not his. (And it's hard to stay on top of it when you're juggling another kid and tons of other stuff.)
I know others have said that boys are harder than girls, which may be true, but I have to say that even though we're moving slowly, my son is proving much easier than my daughter. I worked on potty training with her for over a year (we did take a couple of breaks because things just weren't working). She knew what to do, but 1) didn't mind being dirty or wet, 2) would always rather play than use the bathroom, and 3) is very stubborn and was determined to prove to me that she was in charge of this (which of course, she was). I don't get the sense that my son's issues are attitude as much as it is needing to learn the physical sensations and anticipate what he needs to do -- if that's where your little guy is, then I would keep plugging away. It will happen.
I know lots of people say that you should never use pull ups after you start with training pants, but I do use pull ups with my son at night and when we're running errands. (With my daughter I only did it at night.) I don't see that it matters much to my son whether he has his big boy underwear or his pull up on. He can keep a pull up dry all day and will tell me just as quickly when he is wet or dirty. He does not seem at all confused -- and I still treat potty training the same no matter which he has on. ... So even if we're out running errands and he's in his pull ups, I'll take him to the bathroom and if he tells me he needs to go potty, I will take him just as quickly as if he were in his training pants.
Good luck. It is frustrating, and I definitely sympathize!!
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