Finding peace when there just isn't any

So, I did my search today for all our fun frugal fun, and there isn't much new, but if you missed anything you can click the link above. In the meantime, though, I have other stuff to blog about.Where the baby REALLY was in yesterday's Wordless Wednesday. Well that and something a little different to this blog. Heavy heart heavy keyboard I guess!



This week's Wordless Wednesday:

People's guesses actually cracks me up! My husband thought I was looney for being scared, but I really couldn't find my son, and apparently I wasn't alone. I was TERRIFIED, but yes, my little one simply decided to fall off of his own bed and roll under mine (for those of you wondering why a toddler is in my room, he had SEVERE apnea until recently, literally a matter of life and death!) So here is the picture again!

This second part is a little more serious and very near and dear to my heart. I feel like the last time I really faced this dilemma I was in high school. But since then, I have avoided this problem by choosing who I am around more carefully. But things are different this time. Maybe I should back up.

Without getting into too much detail to avoid hurting any feelings/causing any drama etc, I will simply say that someone I care about is becoming someone I normally would not associate with. But there is no way of severing the relationship, it isn't like a neighbor or an acquaintance. Someone I care about is doing things that I find wrong and unethical. And that those things are hurting people that don't deserve to be hurt.
When I became a mom, I discovered that I quickly became LESS judgmental. Suddenly all those "ways" to raise children that I was so positive were no longer worth anything. Suddenly I understood so much more. And suddenly I was so much more patient and understanding. Except for one thing. Anything dealing WITH kids. I guess the one thing that I have always held on to is that when you have kids, their happiness/health/well-being becomes more important than anything. Now, before you jump on me, I AGREE that kids need a mom who is happy and focuses on her needs too. I AGREE that we need to make ourselves happy so we can focus on our kids as well. I AGREE we need to love ourselves in order to know how to love others. But I also think that we CHOSE to have these innocent, sweet, and fairly helpless blessings that depend on us for so many years. And to purposely put ourselves and our desires (note: I did not say NEEDS, I said desires) against their needs angers me. To ignore what is so obviously pain in your children's eyes, pain you are causing, doesn't make sense. I guess this is the one thing I am still judgemental on. I know it is wrong, but this is my fault I suppose.
What angers me even more is the people like ME. The people that don't say what they should. That pretend that what is happening is justified.The people that figure it won't make a difference anyway, so what good would it do? That keep our heads down to avoid further trouble, or even to avoid losing something we care about. So in this sense I am no better than them. I guess I am being selfish as well.
My mom and I used to talk about how those that deserved that "bad karma" never seem to get it. Those that put others through so much pain and do so much wrong never seem to "get theirs". And while I understand that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, we all know what I am referring to, don't we? And the thing is, I don't necessarily want her to have that bad karma. I want her to understand. I want her to learn. I want her to not get her way for once, if it means hurting others, which it does. My mom now tells me to put my treasures in Heaven and not here on earth. Easier said than done sometimes. If you have found something that helps you deal with these tricky situations, please share!


I wish I could get into this more, because I am sure what I am writing is nothing more than nonsensical banter. And quite honestly even this post has just twisted my gut even more when usually they make me feel better. I feel helpless useless and angry infuriated. The absolutely only good that has come out of this whole mess is that I learned something. I learned that the children involved in situations are telling others what they aren't telling you. And if you aren't listening, if you don't WANT to hear, then you will never, ever, hear their pain.

How do you deal with this when walking away ISN'T an option? How do you smile and listen when you completely disagree?