Ugh. Now, to start, I am NOT the perfect mom. I was once. For about 9 months. Before my son learned to walk and talk. Before the hair started running thin alongside the patience. But even then I wasn't so much perfect as scared terrified and neurotic. Anyway, that is another story! For today, let's discuss what happens when you let children keep an eye on themselves.....
My friend and I headed to Chick-Fil-A today to play at their little indoor play place since it was so cold. First of all, I don't care if the sign says 3 and under and your kids are 5. Whatever, kids are kids. But would you freaking WATCH THEM? This 7year-old-ish kid immediately comes running up to my baby girl and shoves his face into hers and tries to pick her up, despite me telling him no. This kid was a terror. Seriously, there are apparently no boundaries in his household as we watched him lay on top of my friends daughter as they went down the slide. I don't know how many times we had to tell this little beast to keep his hands to himself. He was just being a bully.
Then, we THOUGHT the second group of brothers that came in would be better since their mom reminded them to be careful around the little one's. Uh...nope. As she cuddled into her book and ignored her children, they told my friends daughter that she was a scaredy cat because she didn't like their gross and obsessive screaming in her face. Then they started trying to make fun of her and telling her how short she was (I don't know why this mattered but whatever), and pulling on the kids and blocking them from going down the slide. The bully boy was even yelling at sweet little friend's daughter telling her how she wasn't his friend because she wasn't good enough blah blah blah. So, since my friend and I (okay, really me more than her) was starting to feel mama bear come out with a strange mix of childishness (this was apparent when I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling my son to go tell the kid that he was a brat and a bully), we decided it was time to leave. As my friend's daughter came down the slide, the little brat kicked her, and then TRIED TO TELL ME SHE DID IT! Listen you little butt, I saw what you did and it was unacceptable! So we had to leave. A play place where this brat was about 4 years above the guideline anyway. I hope the brats big brat mom enjoyed her book. Maybe she should buy one about parenting.
Anywho.....I need some opinions. I have made up my mind *I think* after numerous discussions with my friend and hubby, but I just want to see what you have to say. My son will be three in February. OUr local rec center has a preschool called toddling tots for kids 2 and older. Here is the pro-con list
PROS
Son is really ahead of where he needs to be and could use some extra stimulation
He doesn't get around other kids often and enjoys it when he does
Preschool is a fantastic way to prepare kids for kindergarten
We are hoping it may help with some jealousy/sister issues at home
Socialization is a good thing to learn
Get out some of this little man's energy
CONS
Mama just ain't ready!
Some people think it may make him burn out from school too early
Because of his birth date, he won't start kindergarten until 6, so that is about 3 years of preschool.
I don't want him learning the bad habits of little brats like today.
What is your opinion? Have you been there/done that? Are you thinking of doing it?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
It isn' the kids....it is the parents. Oh yeah...and I would like your opinion, too!
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15 of you are the "cool kids":
Ugh Chick-Fil-A! I found out that when my daughter was with her grandmother there some punk kid choked her. Choked her!! My mom said nothing to me either, my daughter told me...I was so mad! I also found out that my mom said nothing to the kid or parents I was POed so much.
When we where also there before with my daughter a group of five kids that came together where basically beating my kid up. I went to talk to the parents and kids but they only spoke french and just shook they head at me and laughed. I finally told the staff and since they where done eating (they has apparently been sitting there almost two hours) they asked them to leave. We also got a free milkshake because my daughter was upset.
As far as the rec center, I would try it out. If it doesn't work he doesn't have to keep going. My daughter also started kindergarten later (this year actually) because of her b.day too. I wish I would of got her into something earlier because she has a really hard time adjusting, even though she went to preschool 2 years.
I homeschool, enough said... Okay not really HaHa. I actually have a lot to say about this subject. My 2 oldest went to 2 day preschool at age 3 and 3 day preschool at age 4, they went to a lutheran school. For me Public school is sooo very far, read not even on my list of where I will send my kids right now. My main reason is that I will not stand back and let them turn into disrespectful little brats, nope won't happen under my watch.
So if I were you I would look around for a private preschool or maybe just stick to mommy and me classes or library time for right now.
Right now I am in a weird mood about my son's cub scout pack, it is like a total free for all and nothing gets accomplished, so that may have some bearing on my opinion tonight.
I wish I could give you some advice but seeing as my litlte man hasnt even arrived yet that's kinda hard.
My mother on the other hand did just put my 3 year old brother into preschool...well in September and then she took him out. He was fine once he got there but he hated waking up and leaving home! Maybe you can do a trial run of some sort?
OMG - You should go back there when that rude book-loving 'mommy' is there and have one of her holy terrors deliver (for you) her a parenting book that you just happen to have in your purse. Some people's mothers!
Hmmm... Where I am they have implemented full time junior kindergarten. This is for kids who will be 4 by Dec. 31st of that school year - this means my little guy will be 3 - yup, 3 when he starts school!!!!
Would you be sending your little one full time or only for a couple days each week? The socialization can be so good, but it can also be soooo bad, as you experienced. I would say that if it's for a couple days each week it will be good for him. I understand that You are not ready, but this may be a good transition for both of you.
Good luck with your tough decision!
I've never heard anyone say that starting preschool earlier would "burn them out". If anything, I think it helps them LOVE school, because, at the right school, it's lots of fun for them. The key is just picking a school you're comfortable with, with a staff that won't put up with the bad behavior you're talking about.
With respect to the 3 years of preschool, the folks I know in that situation see it as more of a financial decision. The kids don't know and don't care as long as they're in a good environment. I mean there are kids that are at day care centers from 6 weeks old, so they're essentially in "preschool" for a long time too. Mine were the opposite -- last week of Sept, so they're the youngest in class since our cut off is Oct 1st.
HOnestly, we never did the pre-school thing and the kids are fine.
I waffled with the decision of when to put my son in preschool and kindergarten. I put him in at age 4 because he was quite shy and I thought he could use socialization skills. I started him in kindergarten at age 5.
Going back, I would have waited though.
If you don't want him to learn the bad habbits of brats today then school is NOT the place for him. I sent off sweet little angels and the things they came home learning were not from the teachers!
My daughter began preschool at a young 3. It was hard to let go for 2 1/2 hours twice a week, but it did wonders for her...and me! When she starts Kindergarten, she will have 2 1/2 years of preschool. Do your research and find a good place with warm teachers. Just my two cents.
As far as what happened at that play place...MY head is spinning!!! Holy smokes!
Honestly at one point of my life I would have said put him in daycare. The experience would help him alot. Plus it gives you time to do whatever you need. But now after last week, I decided to pull my son from the school he was going to. So my advice is simply to follow your mother's instinct... they will never lead you wrong.
First of all, I think you are like Gandhi! I would have been in that woman's face so fast she wouldn't even know what hit her! And I would have threatened her kid! Cuz that's how I role!
As for preschool, you have very valid pros and cons. I'm not too sure about the burning out on school thing though.
How many days a week is it? How many hours a day is it?
Maybe you want to give it a try to see how it goes but I COMPLETELY understand when you say you are not ready. I don't think we are EVER ready!
http://www.thewannabewahm.com
Wow, now that is one mean kid! I would probably have had to say something to the Mom as well as the little brat! But, that's just me and I have a hard time biting my tongue when someone is bullying my children.
As for preschool, I think it is going to have to be completely up to you. I sent my boys for 2 years. They were very shy the first year and two of them even cried. I agree that it is great for their selfesteem and independence as well as their social skills. I do know people that have sent their children 3 years and they turned out fine though. I think it all depends on how long it will be too. If it's only for a couple of hours a couple days a week that isn't so bad. It really is going to have to be your choice though. I don't think it will hurt him either way. :)
your blog is awesome....
When aria was 15 mo. I started to work again and put him in daycare.
When i quick my job he was 3. I put him preschool. He was going there only half day. You know he is my only kid. Everyday, all the kids get together and help each other learn. Great for social skills and sharing time! ...
I would have exploded on the parents. That makes me sick when people can't control there kids. That is just wrong.
As for the program I say go for it. It's good that he gets interaction with other kids. He may have a blast. If he doesn't like it then pull him out.
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