Compromising without giving it away

Mama Kat time again! Which prompt are you going to choose? Will you face your weaknesses? Will you get made? I chose to look a little into my marriage.

It could be the compromise my husband made when I was filling out the paperwork at the hospital when it was time for baby girl to be born. I was already drugged up, and forgot how hubby wanted to spell her name. It is still cute, basically what we wanted....oops. (Speaking of which--I am not sure the mom in labor should be the one filling out the details for the birth cert right at THAT moment. Just sayin')

BABBYGRL BABYGRL BABIEGRL BABBBIEGIRL BABY GIRL!

I could talk about our on-going discussion where the compromise has yet to be decided....whether or not we are having a third baby.

I could discuss the compromise whether or not or kids would sleep in our room to start, which may have actually saved our son's life.

But really, what caught my attention was the giddy, gooey, absolute love of some of my fav blog gals. I can publicly mention Stacie, who is so crazy in love it isn't funny. And really, if you want to remember that kind of love, if you want to hate someone feel jealous be extremely happy for this wonderful woman who found a man that outwardly speaks of how wonderful his woman is, you should visit her at Stacie's madness this week as he is guest blogging while she is having a little family vacation. Then there is Helene at I am living proof God has a sense of humor. Really, her relationship is so cute it is disgusting. And then there is the newest relationship that I will not speak of since she hasn't publicly announced her bliss yet.

And I realized that this was our biggest compromise. See, hubby and I had lived together before we got married, so we got all those compromises out of the way. I am controlling enough to want to do the bills, he could care less. I don't want to deal with animal cleaning or trash, so that is his. I could go on forever, but that might embarrass him since I am basically done with his list. Anywho....

When we first got married, my already married with children friends tended to laugh at me. I was dubbed Danielle Steele, because that is how we acted. Yes, believe it or not, we didn't go to bed without one another, we didn't go out without one another, we talked a bazillion and ten times a day, we kissed fifty times before one of us left to the house, other newlywed things that I will omit since really, you never know when your mom is going to read your blog. But we were sappy. We would lay in bed and snuggle every night. I remember at our wedding, I overheard the photographer tell the videographer that she didn't have to ask my husband to smile or to look at me because that was all he did. We were cute cute cute. And I swore we would never change. I couldn't imagine not doing all the silly things we did, even though my friends warned me that it would happen one day!

And then came baby number one. After little man came along, I noticed the first big change. We used to watch T.V. in bed as I laid on his chest until I fell asleep. Then we got to the point where we spooned. And then, after baby two, we simply kissed good night. Now? We sometimes have to remind ourselves to kiss goodbye, and half the time I am asleep with the kids before he gets in bed.

And then last week it really hit me. I was REALLY REALLY sick one night. I was sweating and getting sick and it was awful. The kids were still in bed and I had about ten minutes before I had to go to work. All I wanted to do was cuddle and be babied. So I curled up next to him on the couch and he rubbed my back. And suddenly I realized that I could not REMEMBER the last time we cuddled. Not like "oh my gosh, it has been like forever" kind of deal, I honestly could NOT remember. We purposely have opposite schedules. It is impossible for me not to work at all, but I have the wonderful opportunity to have a WAH job. But I CAN'T watch the kids while I do it, it has to be quiet. So hubby watches them then. And I watch them when he works. We do have some days together, but not often. We chose this, because we know it won't last forever. We didn't want to put our kids in daycare (and no, I am not judging anyone who does, it just isn't something we wanted to do). Our kids will only be so little for so long. And in all honesty, I wouldn't change it. I would do it again, with a few slight differences!

But that is definitely our biggest compromise. Our honeymoon status. Our giddiness. Our infatuation with one another. And while we both recognize that our relationship is so very important, not only to us but to our children. And sometimes we joke about having something to look forward. But the thing is....the day we got married we danced our first dance to "you're my best friend." And to this day, we ARE each other's best friends. And for us, for our family, this was one compromise that we agreed to make-even though we didn't realize quite what the compromise was when we made the agreement-because this is how we wanted to raise our children. We wanted them to come first. But we also know that we compromised TOGETHER, we BOTH sacrificed, and we both can't wait to get to know one another again.