They just don't GET IT!

Oh men. Such sweet, strong, well-meaning, dumb people. I don't want to generalize....but let's be realistic. Most men NEED certain, varying amounts of training. But even training doesn't help them realize everything we want them to realize.
So, in case you have Dr. Phil on the DVR, I won't ruin the whole thing. What I will say is that it was about the stupid study from some Dr. Robinson that said moms have 30-40 hours of leisure time per week. So, about 4-6 hours a DAY! Lets examine MY day yesterday, which I am sure is similar to yours.

• 8 a.m-2 p.m. I worked. Since I work at home, and there are some breaks here and there, I decided to include what happens on those breaks. Break 1-said good morning to the kids and took little man potty. Got a quick bit to eat. This was ten minutes. Break 2-paid bills. 30 minutes. Break 3-Called stupid Winkflash since I still haven't received my refund. Then I called my Dr. office to refill my birth control. Started the chicken marinating for dinner. Got some lunch and went back to work. 10 minutes.  P.S. yes, they get breakfast and lunch, my hubby is good at the making part of it, and sometimes even the cleaning part of the lunch
• 2:00-2:15 got the kids to fall asleep and take a nap
• 2:15-3:34 completed the Macaroni Kid newsletter (since I am making money off of this, I consider this work, not leisure time. 
• 3:34-5:15 Got the kids up and changed diapers/back into big boy underwear. Got them a snack. Went back upstairs to finish newsletter. Then I blogged and answered emails for a half an hour. I suppose BLOGGING is probably considered leisure time, even though it does bring in some compensation of some sort. PLUS, I have a sphere chair that I blog in....and the kids are usually sitting on each side. And really, dinner was marinating, I was singing songs with the kids and constantly interrupted, and the laundry was going. After this I watched Dr. Phil while I folded said laundry. Again, I suppose this is leisure since I was watching t.v.
• 5:15-7:00 consisted of making dinner (yum yum yum by the way), setting the table, feeding the kids, cleaning up dinner dishes, taking little man the bathroom, changing baby girl, cleaning up moon sand (again and again and again) applying four or five bandaids because apparently there were boo-boos galore, and then cleaning up the living room. 
• 7:00-8:30 Gave the kids a bath and finished laundry (RIGHT BY THE BATHROOM, I COULD SEE THE KIDS!!!!)
• 8:30-11:00 this time was spent with stories, bills, cleaning up the bedroom, playing with the kids, cleaning up the upstairs, diapers and more and finally falling into bed. 

Ahem. This IS a typical day, unless I have to run errands and then the day just gets MORE Hectic. Please Dr. Robinson, I beg you to find that four hours I am wasting. Go ahead and try the bathroom....kids are with me. Shower? Nope if they aren't in there than they are knocking on the glass door and playing peek-a-boo. Work? Do you consider YOUR work leisure time Mr. Robinson???
Are you curious what IS on his list for leisure time that we have? A FREAKING ROOT CANAL!!!!
But here is the thing. Two things from the show REALLY bugged me.  The first was that, as much as he was trying to sympathize, Dr. Phil himself just didn't seem to GET IT! And secondly, the constant talk of "women bring it on themselves".
Seriously? Yes, I DID bring it on myself, if you want to call it that. I consider my children a blessing. And believe it or not, I even consider the time spent at the dinner time, during baths, even in the bathroom, quality time with them. I don't consider it work, I don't consider it a burden. And playing with them, to an extent, IS leisure. But here is the point. That isn't the hard part for me. The hard part is that many men just don't seem to get it. They don't understand EVERYTHING we do in a day. Want to hear the perfect example? Good because I am going to share!

A true moment in the Frugal Mom knows Best household! Not kidding, word for word.

Me: "We need to start planning our cabin trip."

Dense though loving husband "I thought it was already booked."

Me: "well yeah, but we were going to do something on the way there and back."

Opening mouth and preparing to insert foot hubby: "oh, that won't take long...I thought you meant we still had to PLAN the vacation."

Me, giving the look: "um, we do."

And the foot goes in: "well what else needs to be done? It is all set then."

Counting to ten, and then twenty: "WELL, dinners for both nights need to be planned, purchased, and either frozen or whatever. Plus, we need to pack. The deposit needs to be sent. We need to get the oil changed. We need to get plans set with the house-sitter. Do you want me to continue?"

Hubs, SHOVING the foot further: "packing is done...all I need is a change of underwear and socks."

Biting my tongue: "and the kids? and food?" (this whole time I am thinking....yes honey. I will pack your contact case and glasses and a coat for you. I will also pack your deodorant. And your shampoo and soap. And also your tums and floss because I know you too well. And your whiskey and soda. and and and and and)

Grinning cutely because he knows he is...well...wrong. "trail mix???"

I am a wife. I am mommy. I want to do it. I love it. And I don't even consider the "worrying" that so many on the show mentioned to be anything other than just another part of my day-leisure or not. But sometimes, I would really really REALLY like to be recognized. Sometimes it seems that the food gets on the table, the groceries get bought, the bills get paid, money gets saved through comparison shopping and coupon clipping, future dinners for when I work until six get made and frozen, kids get changed and bathed, dishes get done, school gets signed up for, appointments get made, Holiday gifts get bought, Easter Eggs get filled, eggs get hard-boiled for decorating, soap and shampoo and shaving cream never runs out, etc and no one thinks about how it gets done. They know we do it, somehow at some point. But they just don't think about it. Or appreciate it as much as we would like them to. Kind of like when we were living with our parents. We never though about it. It just got done. Think about it. Did you ever thank YOUR mom for never being out of deodorant or your favorite snack? Yet, if the hubs does dishes AND vacuums, an "atta-boy" is expected. I think that a true, heartfelt, very thorough "I get it, I appreciate it, I couldn't do what you do" would mean more to me than any 40 hours worth of leisure time-definitely more than the root canal! It hit home after my husband got off work. He deserves some him-time, too. But after the day you read about above, the kids were having a hard time sleeping (does anyone el .'
se notice this happens when it is really windy out?) I was constantly getting up with them. Hubby? He was having his leisure time, downstairs, with a drink, playing video games. Wanna take a guess on how long it took for me to say something?

Has anyone else noticed how hard it is to join in on Theta Mom Thursday? Once a month? For ONE hour a MONTH? Hmmmm. And the thing is, when I told hubs about the show, the FIRST words out of his mouth were when???. He is a pretty understanding guy. But really, I think that unless you are a mom, you just don't GET IT! And I am sorry Dr. Phil, but from the show, I really don't think you just "got it" either.