What I meant to say Wednesday....How do I protect them now?

With any luck, we have some sort of mouth-filter. This filter can help in situations when we could hurt someone's feelings, potentially get our husbands in a near-fight at Chuck E. Cheese, avoid family fights, or just be polite in general. That is when this little vent session on Wednesdays can really come in handy!

If you don't mind, though, this week I would really "say" something a little more serious....
So, the other day I had a very very large craving for some Tokyo Joe's, which is an absolutely fantastic yummy Japanese bowl place that also has sushi and yum yum stuff. As I was watching one of the T.V.'s, a horrible picture came on. After I changed the channel so my son would stop watching the stupid Phineas and Herb show, I turned and saw another horrible picture on the Larry King Live Show. A 13 year old girl, laying with a HUGE scar on her skull and a very black and swollen eye. This poor girl was apparently brutally beaten while waiting for the bus. BY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY!. And this happened at the same school where a year ago, a young teen had rubbing alcohol poured on him and then was set on fire.
I sat frozen to my core, looking at my sweet and innocent babies giggling as the played peek-a-boo around the chairs. How was I going to protect them? How was I going to send them off to school everyday, and wonder if they were going to make it home okay? How was I going to get through each and every day wondering about bullies and the pressures of sex (have you heard of that crazy new "game" called scooping?). Believe me, homeschooling sounds awesome to me, but even then....what happens when they turn 16 and need to get a job? What about when they go out with their friends? And when I do send them out, do I have what it takes to teach them the street smarts as well as book smarts?

Just a small pit-stop to let you in on a little secret about me. I was basically rejected by my biological father. That is the only way I know how to put it. That combined with some other things have made me a little controlling and fearful over losing other things that mean so much to me. I have come a LONG way since I have had kids. You could ask my friend. She is astounded when I allow my kids two feet away from me at the park or the children's museum. I think she almost had a heart attack that I couldn't see my son for two seconds and didn't fall apart. When I enrolled him in preschool, she probably wanted to throw me a party. She, along with many others, give me the "okay, Vicki" look. That means I might be holding on TOO tight but they know better than to say anything about that. So, with that being said, here is what happened today.

So, the hubs and I got into a discussion about this. I already know he doesn't want to homeschool so I didn't even say that. I simply said that I will do what it takes to protect my kids at the moments I CAN. From the pensive look on his face, I knew he disagreed to something I was saying. He asked me what the limits are. When am I going to stop over-parenting (his words) and let them live life. Here was my mama-bear response
"My limit? I don't have a LIMIT of protecting my kids (I already said it was mama-bear). I guess my limit is letting them GO to school since I am already terrified of that. I guess my limit is letting them go out to play on their own, go and ride their bikes, go to school functions. My limit is not, however, having them in vulnerable situations. How many 14 year olds have been kidnapped and raped that we have HEARD ABOUT, much less haven't. How many kids have been beaten and taped and then put on the internet to be humiliated? Why is "emo" and cutting yourself the cool thing to do now? And how many beatings at a school bus stop will it take until we don't let OUR kids ride the bus? Will the time be the time that they get brutally beaten, is that when we stop? No, because the only time I DO have to protect my kids is when I have the ability to do so. When they aren't in school and I have the privilege of being able to pick them up from school. I get that I have to teach them independence. And I will find a way to do that. But it won't do me any good to teach it to them if they aren't alive to experience it.

So, in addition to what I said......what I also WANTED to say was....
What is happening to us? Why are we allowing the kids to rule the world? Why are we allowing the old rule of "respect your elders" to go by the wayside? Why are we letting our kids have sex in our house, just so we know where they are? When did teen pregnancy become so cool that the show on t.v. now portray it as normal rather than extremely taboo? Why are schools more worried about supplying daycare centers than safety and learning? How has it gotten this bad? Why have we allowed it to get to the point where school lockdowns were a common occurrence? Why have we allowed our children to get so depressed and so down that now "emo" and suicide and cutting are the norm and "cool?" Why are we suddenly AFRAID of our kids? When did spanking a tooshie become bad, but children killing and hitting their parents become a common news story? What do we do? Where do we go from here? And how, how in the world, do I protect my children now?