So, unless you haven't visited lately, this is your first time, or you have been avoiding me (which I wouldn't blame you since all I have done is whine), then you know I have absolutely NO voice. So, this was a very easy "What I meant to say Wednesday" for me.....because I wasn't able to say much at all! Or, actually, by Sunday, I wasn't able to say anything. I am sure I was a man's dream.
Anyway, here is what I WANTED to say
The the beautiful, vivacious, well-kept, and very fit mommy at the park that was nice enough to make sure my daughter didn't fall on her head and then said to me "running after my toddler allows me to only have to run a 1/2 mile instead of a full one!"
What I said, after a giggle was "Tell me about it, hee hee, thanks for saving her!"
What I MEANT to say was "I don't know who I hate more right now you or me. Why is it all the skinny beautiful ladies are the ones that mention the need to run?? Oh yes, because you are actually motivated enough TO run. Not only that, but you don't have to feel your fat thighs slap together and your butt cheeks wiggle as you run, so it isn't totally unpleasant and humiliating for you. And really, please, can you please just be condescending or hoity patoity or something to give me something to ACTUALLY not like you for so I can feel better about myself? Can you have a zit, a hair out of place, a roll, smeared make-up? Something SOMEWHERE so that I can make myself feel better by laughing at you? Or at least look at me and my wrinkles and frazzled self with disdain so that I can hate you for that? NO? Okay, well then I guess what I ACTUALLY meant to say was to myself and that is "GET IT TOGETHER GIRL!!!"
To the pleasantly large lady in the middle of the aisle at Walmart, who was talking on her cell phone and leaning over so I literally could NOT go around either her or her cart.....
What I said, five times progressively louder...was "excuse me, please" to which she jerked her cart to the side and gave me a dirty how-dare-you-interrupt-my-call look.
What I MEANT to say was.....
"listen lady, I TOTALLY appreciate you making me feel better about the fact that my jeans were slightly tight today. Although, in that same moment you made me have horrible visions of how my ghost-white legs would look if I tried to shove them in tight jean shorts as well. And really, I am very very sorry to hear that you got pulled over speeding through town to try to get your boyfriend out of jail, but I really just need to get some salad dressing if you don't mind.
To the hubby....after I spent two days working extra hours, running errands,and cleaning (and may I mentioned he was OFF work)....when he asked which option we were having for dinner, these were his exact words
"are YOU cooking, am I getting pizza (what he wanted to do), or are we going out?"
What I said was "did you really just hear the options you gave me? Isn't there one missing?"
What I MEANT to say was.....HAHAAHAHAHA Do you really think I wouldn't have said what I wanted to after THAT one?
22 of you are the "cool kids":
LOL...These were great!
Haha! Those are awesome!! I am totally with you and the skinny ladies. And I don't think we are ever to old to stick out our tongues at mean people...Kids have it right on sometimes!
ANd I hope you let him take you out!!
I know exactly how you feel as far as the lady at the park.. Im always telling myself to get it together.. and ill "always start Monday" Lol!
Coming by from SITS and well, what can I say?
What I meant to say Wednesday's would be pretty quiet on my blog cuz, well, I usually just say it anyway... usually under my breath, after turning the corner or getting in my car and turning the radio up- LOUD... but I say it ;)
I hate when people hog the aisles at the store. But, I am guilty of it, too, especially when the five of us go shopping.
That was very funny Vicki. When I go out with my wife I tell her the things I would like to say to people and she tells me that I had better not.
Skinny people and their running....grrr.
Sounds like you had pizza for dinner.
What is it with people at Wal-mart thinking they're the only one's in the entire store shopping!
The other day I stood in front of three women and a baby carrying on a conversation taking up the entire isle and even though they saw me they wouldn't move themselves or their carts so I just leaned on my cart and started listening to their conversation until they were annoyed enough with me to move out of my way!
I love the last one! Of course he was going to leave one option out!
The running thing gets me mad too. Please people, do you really have to rub it in?
ROFL
Thanks for this great post! It made my day! Sooo funny! :)
I'm new to this meme and, after reading your post, I now sooooo get it! Thanks!
I'm now off to write my post... Though there's no way mine will be anywhere near as entertaining as yours!
:)
Annette
www.mammakerr.com
The one about the perfect-looking mom made me laugh out loud! Seriously, I know what you mean! She's the one who never has a hair out of place, her lip gloss is always shiny and she doesn't have a fat roll in sight. I've encountered a few of them in the park we go to...but they're all biotches so I have an extra reason to hate them.
My husband's go-to meal is always pizza when I don't feel like cooking.
HOLY WALMART!
Those women are all over the store.
They are pushing their carts by leaning on them which means they have less than a year till they are driving the carts trying to mull us down Frugal Vicki!
Stay far away....
i hate rude people at walmart
that was redundant
Hahaha, I love that you give it straight to the hubs! (giving it a non-dirty way, you know)
People that get in the way in the store drive me crazy too! Those were funny, it would have been great if you actually had said that stuff. I would have loved to read their reactions.
OMG these are freakin CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER! LOL Love you girl! And I hate loud, obnoxious people on cell phones ANYWHERE but I've learned that we're becoming a culture of etiquette-less individuals so I generally have no qualms about just being rude right back. :) Besides, chances are they'll never see me again!
And, I have a friend that has said that about me (though, I certainly DO NOT feel skinny being 8 months pregnant) but... hey, I will say, once you START on a walking then jogging then running journey -- it is really addictive, and makes ya feel GOOD! Plus (trust me on this one) it's one of the EASIEST and FASTEST ways to lose weight...
now... pardon me while I go have a piece of chocolate cake. :) Lord knows I won't be running for 3 more months... I need to really milk it now for all it's worth!
So since I've started to run myself I will take note that this is something I shouldn't say to another Mother at the park. lolol (no worries I would have never said that - period)
Thank you so much for linking up! I know I am going AWOL but I gotta get some stuff worked out and then I will be back in full force! Don't forget about me!
ex oh ex oh
Chief!
You crack me up! I especially liked the first one!
LOL love it and yes that last one is my favorite!! But Rick making dinner would never come out his mouth no matter what ... :)
Too funny. Especially your husband. I have felt the SAME way!
:-)
Traci
Love it! Walmart seems to be a magnet for annoying people getting my way! Sorry I have not been over in a while, it was fun to catch up on your posts!
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