Life's lessons learned from a child's words.

In my life, I have often had to fight to try to define myself. The end result has ultimately ended up something simple that I could focus on. Usually one or two things at a time. Easy. Slowly I would build up with each step in life. First I was the daughter. And then the college student. And then I was lost for a bit as I was in the midst of a crazy few years of mid-twenties. Fun and something I will never forget nor would I ever trade, but lets just say many lessons were learned and I felt a bit lost. Then I became the blushing bride. A bit demanding of my soon-to-be husband. A bit scared because all of a sudden I was the one calling the shots. I didn't have a parent or a teacher to tell me which direction to go. And then suddenly I saw those wonderful two lines. And I became a mommy. And from those first two lines to the second, that is what I focused on. I was a mommy. Simply that. Nothing in this world mattered like my children did. I focused, breathed, and lived for my children.

And then they slowly began to grow, well, maybe quickly. Too quickly. And as they grew, they taught me a HUGE lesson. I wasn't just a mommy. But that one role sure did teach me a lot. I am a daughter, a friend, a business owner, a writer, and so much more. Some large and dramatic events happened in my life and I realized that I was so much more than a mommy. I am a wife. A wife of a husband who has probably been wondering where the heck the demanding yet devoted woman of his has been. I am an extremely caring person that worries about other people, that tries to find ways to make a difference in this world. I am someone that stands up for the things that I truly truly believe in, and sadly this sometimes costs me a lot. But I am also determined. And I won't give in. And I also won't give up....even if I am the only one that is trying.

There is so much more I want to be. Thinner. More motivated. More accomplished. But I have learned that the one thing that is most important to me, that has ALWAYS been most important to me, is my family. Things have changed, I have grown, and that family is no longer just the confines of my mom and my dad. I know see myself as a little onion. The center, that green part that is hard and small and cone-shaped is my family. It is my husband, my children, and me (and even our pets). And then it goes out. You will find a layer for extended family and work. Writing and hobbies. There is so much more. And my onion can grow. Layers can always be added. And just like an onion, the skin is thin. My feelings are right below the surface at all times. But the core of me is strong. Being a mother is, and always will be, the most important aspect of my life. I actually wrote job and erased it (erased? deleted? backspaced?) because it isn't a job. It is bliss. Even in the times I want to scream and shout. It is a pure love. But I am learning it is not the ONLY aspect of my life. And in an ironic twist.....it is my children that I have to thank for teaching me that.